![]() ![]() Until then, Dad had been unfailingly gentle with me, albeit persistently melancholy. “It’s very natural to think, ‘Hey, I don’t have to change my parent’s diaper anymore I don’t have to do all these painful, time-consuming, tiring things,’ ” Walz told me. But he noted that similar feelings may appear in those whose parents experienced other struggles particular to aging. While speaking to Walz for this piece, I learned research indicates that relief is an extremely common reaction caregivers have to the death of a loved one who had dementia. “ Grief and Relief: Is it wrong to feel relieved when someone dies?” is the title of an online video by psychotherapist Joe Walz that caught my attention during a late-night Googling session. Catey had cared for her mother through a brutal decline into dementia, so she knew that death can mean many things, not all of them bad. I was grateful for Catey’s phrase because it was my first indication that it was okay to feel anything other than sadness about his death. He had suffered from mental illness for most of his life and had moved to be closer to me five years prior as his overall health deteriorated. Most friends had guessed, even if I hadn’t told them, that my dad had challenges. “The dreaded freedom.” That’s what my friend Catey Terry called it when I told her my dad had died. I think Dad keeps returning to me in dreams because I feel guilty that my life is easier now that he’s gone. It’s like swimming upward to a place where I can breathe again. Waking up from these dreams I feel something familiar: relief. ![]() On the obligation to prevent people from dying alone ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |